Space Frontier Foundation uncovers massive conspiracy to keep America "contained"

Space Frontier Foundation uncovers massive conspiracy to keep America "contained"


Nyack, NY – April 1, 2009  12:00 AM

Space Frontier Foundation uncovers massive conspiracy to keep America “contained”

In a reversal of America’s old policy of containment, the Chinese government has initiated a well coordinated strategy to make certain that America cannot expand into the Solar System.A high level source in the Chinese government told us that “American frontier spirit and capitalist vigor are cancers that cannot be permitted to infect the universe; and China has taken on the obligation of making sure they stay contained.”

The first big success of this strategy involved the sabotage of China’s own “Long March” rocket on two instances when launching American satellites in 1995 and 1996. They then used the investigations into the “accidents” to create controversy and successfully goaded the US Congress into an overreaction know as the Strom Thurmond National Defense Authorization Act of 1998.

A second Chinese source told us that “Since 1998 America has moved from a dominant position in commercial space to being a bit player, dependant on subsidies from the US government. My involvement in ‘project ITAR’ is my proudest moment.”

Emboldened by this dramatic success, China contacted sleeper agents in key positions within the US government and aerospace industry, initiating a successful seizure of near-complete control of US civil space policy.

Our first source bragged “I personally designed critical elements of NASA’s Constellation program. There is no way this thing will work. American civil space has been effectively neutralized.”

Not content with the destruction of American commercial and civil space, China is also engaged in a broad-based effort to undermine the Department of Defense’s Operationally Responsive Space (ORS) Office.

“Most of America’s military space effort is no threat to us. We can take them out in less than an hour. These ORS guys are another thing altogether and demand our attention.” Our sources both refused to elaborate further. One of them was willing to talk a bit about an unrelated effort.

“My superiors were alarmed last year to learn of the emergence of a new threat called NewSpace. The wakeup call was the announcement of Project Virgle. I’m beginning to get the idea that capitalists are like hydra, every time we chop off a head, two more spring up somewhere else. Marginalizing America’s governmental efforts is proving the easy part. I haven’t a clue how we would deal with the situation if America was willing to unleash the power of free enterprise in an attempt to lead free people into the Solar System.”